Friday, September 18, 2009

Sorry, no scribble, just a rant...

I was off today, the wife and I took the girls to Hershey for yearly allergy tests. I wasn't really able to get my act together this morning to get a scribble up for Friday. Anyway, I thought I would take this opportunity to rant about something that has bothered me for quite sometime...


To be more specific, McDonald's takeout bag litter. Hell, let's get even more specific, McDonald's takeout bag litter on the outskirt roads that lead into Columbia. Seriously, what the fuck? Put your goddamn trash in the proper receptacles when you get home. All roads leading into Columbia do not have a sign on them that asks, "Please Throw Your Trash Out Of Your Window, Some Schmuck Will Eventually Get It".

At first, I wrote it off as just assholes who couldn't stand to have trash in their pimped out Neons. I speculated they didn't want grease stains on their freshly installed racing seats. But after 3 years of seeing this, I am convinced this is a more devious problem. One that needs an intervention to be stopped.

I believe it is the work of a lone person, or one small group, with the same common problem - an addiction to McDonald's food. I think it has gotten so bad for them, that they sneak this food so their loved ones won't know of their fucked-up habit. They consume it while driving around and just before entering Columbia, they ditch the evidence that would surely have them on some intervention show on cable TV.

Just like cigarettes, the stench of McDonald's stays in the mouth and on the fingers, but most likely these jerks probably have a pack-and-half a day habit as well. It will catch up to you sooner or later, so just stop. PLEASE. Or you will force me to seek out one of two solutions:

1. Cruising the outskirts of Columbia with a brush guard installed on the front of my Jetta Wagon like some desperate trash hating vigilante version of Michael Knight. Waiting for the bag to fly out of your window, so I can spin out your ass end Spy Hunter style.

2. I will stand on corners around the the outskirts of Columbia dressed in a deerskin loincloth, war paint and with a midget pony in tow. Do you really want to see that? Tear rolling down my cheek. Pure sadness. No, nobody wants to see that.



Jennifer said...

You make me laugh so much love. I am re-posting this! you should write more of these!

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About Me

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So the main reason for this blog is to post scribbles I have done. I may post other illustrators' stuff that I find and want to share. I may post things unrelated to drawing. One thing you can count on is that I will bore you to death...too DEATH.